[she opens the door slowly, closes it quietly behind her. the ginger footsteps across the floor probably give away Noctis's visitor, even though his eyes are closed. she sits at the edge of his bed, at the very bottom, so as not to disturb him]
[SHE WILL AGGRAVATE IT UNTIL IT'S COMPLETELY HEALED GDMIT!!]
It is.
[they lost a Bounty. lost the Deputy. lost their easiest win condition. and their Doctor, Natalie, would likely be implicated in Hannibal's murder. . . just judging from that scene]
We have much to talk about as a group. We need to figure out where we can go from here.
[. . . yeah. as raring as she is to get to work so she can get her mind off of this week's losses, there will be time for that later. as strong and level-headed as Milla is trying to remain, she is just as affected by Shinnosuke's (and Xion's, honestly) death too]
[Shinnosuke may have denied it, but he was their ally. is their ally. his loss. . . well. they can feel it, in the echoes of the empty spaces of the room where he used to be]
I wish I knew.
[she says quietly, almost to herself]
If he was chosen by a Bandit, then there might not have been anything for us to do to save him in the first place.
[really, in effect... he knows that. but it doesn't stop his head from dipping as he pulls up his knees to rest his forehead against them.
he'd really rather avoid getting too emotional in front of milla—generally he would like to avoid that in front of anyone, but he knows this is tough for her too. that last week was tough.
that every week is tough.]
We can't catch a single break in this hellhole, ever.
[he might feel Milla place her hand on the top of his head. physical proximity has become quite a comfort for her in this hell hole of a western town, and she's still testing it out on others to see if they feel the same]
We'll end this. Somehow, some way. They're counting on us.
[unlike other people, noct doesn't seem to shy away from it. despite the fact that he is the sort to normally fluster a bit at stuff like that, if anything, right now? noct seems to actually relax a little more.
it's definitely a comfort, one he hadn't even considered he could need—given how it's usually not his first option.]
They are. And... I don't want to let them down. Not the ones who are still alive, and not... the ones we lost, either.
[it definitely helping a bit—strangely enough, and more than he would have expected.
for someone who isn't human, milla's understanding of how to be soothing to someone in need it really pretty amazing.]
We have to. We... can't give up on saving them. Not after everything they've done.
[he doesn't want those sacrifices to be for nothing, nor does he want the efforts they've been putting forth. they've worked so hard since finding one another to try and protect people—they can't let that go to waste.]
[he wouldn't care if she were to lean—milla needs to try and relax a bit too. with pushing herself so hard despite having those injuries...
well, noct would honestly rather she did.]
Anything... strange? Not really. [he thinks back to when they talked, which outside of the previous night's meeting, had only been on monday.] Talked about naming animals after the other if one of us...
[you know, died.] But it wasn't serious or anything like that.
[he pauses, shifting his head slightly, just enough to actually look at her without drawing back from her comforts.] Why... did he say soomething weird to you?
[WELL. after a few moments she might be leaning a bit. it's a slightly awkward position, but. physical proximity. she slides her hand to the side of his head a bit so when he looks up, his vision isn't blocked by her arm]
No.
[a small sigh]
I suppose I was fishing for some sort of information on why he was even outside last night. Or that he may have perhaps told one of us something important before he died.
[awkward as the position is, noct doesn't seem to be willing to shift much more—maybe because it is so oddly comforting that he doesn't want to break that mood.
if anything, he seems to embrace it a little more, head idly leaning into the touch.]
Yeah. I tried to think of anything earlier but... you know how Shinnosuke was. [always trying to keep everyone at arm's length, even if it was obvious he cared.
noct sighs, quiet as his arm shifts—if only to brush a few of milla's hairs away that tickle at his leg. (she has so much hair!!!)
...thought his fingers do seem to linger a little at the ends of her hair anyway. not really much of a comfort of his own to offer but... he's pretty bad at this.]
[he still doesn't seem to mind—maybe he's just needed some kind of physical comfort more than he realized.]
Mm.. that sounds right. Definitely going to be real quiet without him around now, too.
[there's no getting around it, his presence will be missed. even if he was an ass and gave noct a hard time, there was undoubtedly camaraderie there, even if it really only manifested properly when the bounties came together.
noct sighs quietly, fingers idly threading lightly through the ends of her hair as he considers what comes next.]
How... are you holding up? [with everything. the deaths, the state of the situation, her injuries—whatever.]
[see, this is why Milla is a big advocate for physical comfort. HER BOOKS WERE RIGHT!! ABOUT ONE THING!!]
Ah. . . I'm moving forward. Is that not all I can say?
[she could go into the specifics of what she's feeling yet again, but. . . she feels like she's done nothing but talk about her strange experiences with human emotions these past few weeks]
...Probably could say more than that. We're all... moving forward, but...
[he's worried about her. the fact that she does push forward so relentlessly even though they keep dealing with loss after loss...
he knows that bottling crap like that up doesn't work, and even if she's talked about it, it still seems like she tries to keep herself distanced from it just to keep going. so noct will look at her with brows knit slightly, but still unmoving beyond those idle motions with her hair.]
You never stop. Guess... I, uh. Just wanted to see how you're doing.
[she says with a bit of a smile. the thing about Milla is that she's a rather odd duck. . . bottling up emotion isn't always good, sure, but. this is how she copes. this is how she keeps herself from falling into despair]
[as long as she keeps moving, everything will be okay, no matter the outcome]
[his head tilts, curious—with the unintended result also being that he'd have to lean more into her touch to do that.]
It's... incredible, honestly. [it's hard to hide that he's a bit fascinated by it. she always finds a way to persevere and keep going, without losing faith in others.
his experience with her has been exactly that, and it's so far removed from him, and how he's struggled to find his own convictions—though as things have changed around him, he's been able to find at least some. there's little getting around that people like milla make him want to do better, though.]
Guess it's not obvious to me since I've... only really ever known one person like that.
[even with all the tragedy, even with all the loss, even with her injuries. it's just...]
I didn't think there was anyone else out there like her.
[yes, please lean more into her touch, it just means she might slip her hand from behind his ears to his cheek for a moment, before she returns to head patting. what the fuck this is cute]
Oh! You did?
[and now she sounds excited to learn more about the people Noctis knew]
What was her name? Can you tell me more about her?
[oh. well. he didn't entirely intend on that, and the warmth of her hand certainly makes that feel... pretty tangible? which is a little embarrassing, but she's patting his head once again after a minute anyway, so it's obvious just a fluke. a cute fluke, but a fluke.
—she does seem a bit enthralled by his statement, so he'll continue.]
Oh. Yeah, I, uh... mentioned her before. Luna.
[the one he'd been betrothed to.] She could communicate with the Six, and she could heal the people who had the scourge... a plague back home.
[he pauses, before he continues.] She... would always do what she wanted. She didn't let the Empire hold her back. She went out of her way to heal the sick, and to do whatever she could. Even if it would hurt her more in the long run.
...Even to the end, when she'd been hurt— [he pauses, closing his eyes for a moment a drawing a breath.] She saved me. She never let anything stop her, especially not when she had her duty to fulfill.
[maybe it was a fluke, ~maybe it wasn't.~ who knows!!]
[she listens with rapt attention, and she finds herself idly thinking that she'd probably like this Luna girl. they do sound quite a bit alike. her expression softens when Noctis get to the part about her death, and her hand once again drops to his cheek]
She sounds like she was an impressive, admirable person.
. . . perhaps you just have a tendency to attract people with those sorts of personalities.
though the second time seems decidedly less like a fluke and far more deliberate. but the touch is oddly comforting, especially when they're on this topic of all things.
he's probably still a little hung up on luna because twelve years is a long time—but the weeks following her death compounded with his weeks here have at least given him a bit of closure and acceptance that... well, she's not coming back. death at home is permanent, unlike here, where they can fix things.
but he's not dwelling too much on luna specifically, despite the fact that talking about her isn't the easiest thing. but milla's words do strike something in him; they really are alike in so many ways, even if milla is much... less human, technically speaking.]
...But maybe—maybe it's just that I do better around those types. [like they bring out something better in him, because they make him want to live up to those expectations they set.]
[. . . WOW THOSE ARE SOME SERIOUS JUDE PINGS SHE'S GETTING HERE. he had already passively reminded her of the young man she had so come to admire and trust back home, but that. . . well. that resonates with her far more than anything else had so far]
[her hand had meandered back up to his head, but it pauses as she blinks at him, a bit surprised]
. . .
Better, is it? As though. . . they bring out the best parts of you? As though they make you want to strive to be the kind of person they can admire?
[granted, that's what Jude made her want to be, but the sentiment is the same]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[and then, she sighs]
[who cares if it hurts. she needs to sigh]
You too, I see. . .
no subject
either way, realizing it's her, noct will push himself to sit up, giving her at least that much—it's not really the time to mope, and he knows it...
but it's also kind of hard to help.]
Hard not to, right? Whatever happened last night... it's bad for all of us.
no subject
It is.
[they lost a Bounty. lost the Deputy. lost their easiest win condition. and their Doctor, Natalie, would likely be implicated in Hannibal's murder. . . just judging from that scene]
We have much to talk about as a group. We need to figure out where we can go from here.
no subject
Yeah. We'll talk about that later—once we're all together.
[it's probably better to not get too much into that part now, not when they'll have to rehash it in a little while anyway.
but noct can't hold back his feelings entirely, which is why after a moment, he almost brokenly speaks again.]
Dammit. [his voice is definitely wavering a bit, try as he might to keep it steady.] The hell happened last night? Why was that idiot even out there?
[obviously, there are concerns about who went after hannibal, and who killed xion too.
but shinnouke is one of theirs. it's different, in every single way, and even if that kid was a pain in the ass...
he was their friend, right?]
no subject
[Shinnosuke may have denied it, but he was their ally. is their ally. his loss. . . well. they can feel it, in the echoes of the empty spaces of the room where he used to be]
I wish I knew.
[she says quietly, almost to herself]
If he was chosen by a Bandit, then there might not have been anything for us to do to save him in the first place.
no subject
[really, in effect... he knows that. but it doesn't stop his head from dipping as he pulls up his knees to rest his forehead against them.
he'd really rather avoid getting too emotional in front of milla—generally he would like to avoid that in front of anyone, but he knows this is tough for her too. that last week was tough.
that every week is tough.]
We can't catch a single break in this hellhole, ever.
no subject
We'll end this. Somehow, some way. They're counting on us.
no subject
it's definitely a comfort, one he hadn't even considered he could need—given how it's usually not his first option.]
They are. And... I don't want to let them down. Not the ones who are still alive, and not... the ones we lost, either.
no subject
We won't let them down. If we keep trying, keep reassessing our angle of approach to this game, we'll figure out a solution. I just know we will.
no subject
for someone who isn't human, milla's understanding of how to be soothing to someone in need it really pretty amazing.]
We have to. We... can't give up on saving them. Not after everything they've done.
[he doesn't want those sacrifices to be for nothing, nor does he want the efforts they've been putting forth. they've worked so hard since finding one another to try and protect people—they can't let that go to waste.]
no subject
We've all worked so hard. There has to be some sort of reward for everything we've done.
[. . .]
Noctis. . . did Shinnosuke say anything strange to you before he died?
no subject
well, noct would honestly rather she did.]
Anything... strange? Not really. [he thinks back to when they talked, which outside of the previous night's meeting, had only been on monday.] Talked about naming animals after the other if one of us...
[you know, died.] But it wasn't serious or anything like that.
[he pauses, shifting his head slightly, just enough to actually look at her without drawing back from her comforts.] Why... did he say soomething weird to you?
no subject
No.
[a small sigh]
I suppose I was fishing for some sort of information on why he was even outside last night. Or that he may have perhaps told one of us something important before he died.
no subject
if anything, he seems to embrace it a little more, head idly leaning into the touch.]
Yeah. I tried to think of anything earlier but... you know how Shinnosuke was. [always trying to keep everyone at arm's length, even if it was obvious he cared.
noct sighs, quiet as his arm shifts—if only to brush a few of milla's hairs away that tickle at his leg. (she has so much hair!!!)
...thought his fingers do seem to linger a little at the ends of her hair anyway. not really much of a comfort of his own to offer but... he's pretty bad at this.]
no subject
I do. He-- how do humans say it. . . "refused to wear his heart on his sleeve?"
[yaaaay she got an idiom right!!]
He wouldn't let me comfort him after Yuna died, although I gave my best efforts. [. . .] He was obnoxious, but his presence will be greatly missed.
[he can totally play with the edges of her hair, she has no qualms with this]
no subject
Mm.. that sounds right. Definitely going to be real quiet without him around now, too.
[there's no getting around it, his presence will be missed. even if he was an ass and gave noct a hard time, there was undoubtedly camaraderie there, even if it really only manifested properly when the bounties came together.
noct sighs quietly, fingers idly threading lightly through the ends of her hair as he considers what comes next.]
How... are you holding up? [with everything. the deaths, the state of the situation, her injuries—whatever.]
no subject
Ah. . . I'm moving forward. Is that not all I can say?
[she could go into the specifics of what she's feeling yet again, but. . . she feels like she's done nothing but talk about her strange experiences with human emotions these past few weeks]
no subject
[he's worried about her. the fact that she does push forward so relentlessly even though they keep dealing with loss after loss...
he knows that bottling crap like that up doesn't work, and even if she's talked about it, it still seems like she tries to keep herself distanced from it just to keep going. so noct will look at her with brows knit slightly, but still unmoving beyond those idle motions with her hair.]
You never stop. Guess... I, uh. Just wanted to see how you're doing.
no subject
Your concern-- it's appreciated.
[she says with a bit of a smile. the thing about Milla is that she's a rather odd duck. . . bottling up emotion isn't always good, sure, but. this is how she copes. this is how she keeps herself from falling into despair]
[as long as she keeps moving, everything will be okay, no matter the outcome]
But this is who I am. Isn't that obvious?
I can stop when this game ends.
no subject
It's... incredible, honestly. [it's hard to hide that he's a bit fascinated by it. she always finds a way to persevere and keep going, without losing faith in others.
his experience with her has been exactly that, and it's so far removed from him, and how he's struggled to find his own convictions—though as things have changed around him, he's been able to find at least some. there's little getting around that people like milla make him want to do better, though.]
Guess it's not obvious to me since I've... only really ever known one person like that.
[even with all the tragedy, even with all the loss, even with her injuries. it's just...]
I didn't think there was anyone else out there like her.
no subject
Oh! You did?
[and now she sounds excited to learn more about the people Noctis knew]
What was her name? Can you tell me more about her?
no subject
—she does seem a bit enthralled by his statement, so he'll continue.]
Oh. Yeah, I, uh... mentioned her before. Luna.
[the one he'd been betrothed to.] She could communicate with the Six, and she could heal the people who had the scourge... a plague back home.
[he pauses, before he continues.] She... would always do what she wanted. She didn't let the Empire hold her back. She went out of her way to heal the sick, and to do whatever she could. Even if it would hurt her more in the long run.
...Even to the end, when she'd been hurt— [he pauses, closing his eyes for a moment a drawing a breath.] She saved me. She never let anything stop her, especially not when she had her duty to fulfill.
no subject
[she listens with rapt attention, and she finds herself idly thinking that she'd probably like this Luna girl. they do sound quite a bit alike. her expression softens when Noctis get to the part about her death, and her hand once again drops to his cheek]
She sounds like she was an impressive, admirable person.
. . . perhaps you just have a tendency to attract people with those sorts of personalities.
no subject
though the second time seems decidedly less like a fluke and far more deliberate. but the touch is oddly comforting, especially when they're on this topic of all things.
he's probably still a little hung up on luna because twelve years is a long time—but the weeks following her death compounded with his weeks here have at least given him a bit of closure and acceptance that... well, she's not coming back. death at home is permanent, unlike here, where they can fix things.
but he's not dwelling too much on luna specifically, despite the fact that talking about her isn't the easiest thing. but milla's words do strike something in him; they really are alike in so many ways, even if milla is much... less human, technically speaking.]
...But maybe—maybe it's just that I do better around those types. [like they bring out something better in him, because they make him want to live up to those expectations they set.]
no subject
[her hand had meandered back up to his head, but it pauses as she blinks at him, a bit surprised]
. . .
Better, is it? As though. . . they bring out the best parts of you? As though they make you want to strive to be the kind of person they can admire?
[granted, that's what Jude made her want to be, but the sentiment is the same]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)